Foreplay and Why It's Important
By Hakima Tantrika
Some people think that foreplay is just an option, but believe us when we tell you that foreplay is a requirement. Quickies are great sometimes! But, when you skip straight to penetration, you're only getting a part of sex. You're missing the whole experience and the opportunity for a deeper physical, emotional, and more pleasurable connection.
Do you want incredible orgasms for yourself and your partners? We'll answer that - you do.
The importance of foreplay for vagina-owners
Vagina-owners need foreplay to produce enough natural lubrication! If you workout without warming up first, you run the risk of injuring yourself. It is the same for penetration and foreplay. Plus - the likelihood of experiencing an orgasm will be low.
When a person is turned on, blood rushes to the clitoris, which then grows and expands. The labia and urethral sponge (also known as the G-spot) grows as well. This process, called "engorgement," allows for greater stimulation during penetration.
Most vagina-owners need this process to achieve orgasm - it can only happen if there is enough foreplay. The clitoris, when engorged, serves no other purpose other than sexual pleasure. Penis-owners don't have sex unless their penis is erect. This is the same concept, except with a clitoris.
The importance of foreplay for penis-owners
It's common for some penis-owners to want to jump straight to penetration. This is because arousal can come quickly for them, and they can quickly get an erection. This can cause them to focus on the sensations around their penises that comes from penetration.
Remember that foreplay is not just physical - it's also about emotional connection. When penis-owners engage in foreplay, they produce oxytocin and vasopressin. These are two significant hormones that promote pair-bonding. They can also change your perception of your partners, making them more attractive to you.
Some Foreplay Ideas
A cool way to think about it is by saying that foreplay begins after the last orgasm you had. So, really think outside the box! Here are some different foreplay ideas to spice up your sex life.
Set the Stage
First, you’ll want a space not overwhelmed by clutter - whether that's your bedroom or not. Then, add in some erotic elements, like silky bedsheets and candles. Really set the mood and tone.
You can even choose sexy colors, like shades of pinks, oranges, reds, and browns to create a warm atmosphere. Avoid pure whites, blues, and greens, since they are cooler tones and don't carry the passion associated with sexuality.
Background music
Another great love-making tool is music. Music elicits many emotions and make a more intense atmosphere. Create your soundtrack based on passion or sexiness, and you’ll create the mood you want to set. Mix genres, beats, drums, and exotic sounds into your playlist.
You can also average the timespan of your next love-making session and create a playlist that begins with slow music and ends with more dynamic music. If you don't want to make your own playlist, there are tons of sex playlists already out there. Just remember to have a speaker plugged in and ready to go!
Erotic Massage
Nothing is more relaxing than a massage. It is the easiest way to let go, surrender, and... experience a mind-blowing orgasm. Have massage oil and a little towel near the bed. Slightly warm the massage oil in your hands, and have your partner lie down on their stomach. Invite them to relax and receive your love and energy.
Move your hands around in slow motion over their body. Taunt and tease them. You can go slowly, just make sure to get every inch. You can also blow gently all over their body to increase tingling sensations on their skin. Slowly make your way to their genitals, and use some lube to massage there too. ;)
The Brain––the biggest sex organ
The biggest sex organ is not what you think. It's the brain. Yes, for most people, sex starts (and ends) in the brain.
The brain has to be turned on for the body to get turned on. Some ideas for stimulating the brain for foreplay are watching porn or reading erotica together! Doing a strip tease, roleplaying, and dirty talking are other fun ways to stimulate the brain. Dipping your toes into light BDSM and trying out any fantasies either of you may have (with consent) is another idea.
Mental foreplay is especially important to people who have what's known as a "responsive sexual desire." This is when people don't get turned on spontaneously; it's more of a response or reaction to something someone else is doing.
Foreplay is a psychological process of surrendering. It's the warm-up before the exercise. It's the process of adding water to the water slide. It's what makes penetrative sex great. Never skip it, and you’ll be sure to have mind-blowing orgasms.
