Beginners Guide: Online Dating

Online dating can be scary and overwhelming. It is an entire universe with its own etiquette and unspoken rules. Stepping into this world can be daunting, but we're here to help break it down for you in this beginner's guide, online dating edition!

Online dating is an industry. Some people pay hundreds and even thousands of dollars on dating apps to find a match. In 2022, singles spent an average of $130/month on dating services, dates, and grooming. You can most definitely get on dating apps for free, but you also have the option for a paid service if you have the money and desire.

Finding the Right App

Even if you want to pay for a dating app, it might be a good idea to try it out first for free to see if you’re getting quality matches. There are dozens of dating apps out there to choose from. Tinder or Match.com may be the most recognizable sites, but there are many other apps as well.

If you want an experience that empowers women to make the first move, check out Bumble. If you like answering prompts about yourself rather than writing a long bio, then try Hinge. If you are looking for something more casual or something with a larger pool, check out Tinder. If you are looking for a long term relationship, maybe look at OKCupid. For the swingers and kinksters there is Feeld. There are also religious based dating apps like Christian Mingle and JDate.

One of the hardest parts of dating in general is knowing what you want in order to attract it. Finding the right app for what you want is half the battle. And, you can choose a few that you would like to explore! Once you do that, it’s time to create your profile to attract matches!

Creating a Great Profile

Here is where your personality shines. If you’re not good at presenting yourself, then it's always good to have a friend help. A second pair of eyes is always great to help review and refine your profile. If you are really struggling, then you can find a reasonable ghostwriter on Fiverr to help write your profile.

Overall, our best tip is to be positive instead of negative. For example, knowing what you don’t want is important, but phrasing is key to avoid negativity. Being negative is one of the biggest mistakes singles make on dating apps, other than being too generic.

When writing or revamping your profile, think about what you're looking for, your love languages, your quirks, unique interests, and how your friends would describe you. Make sure to take or include pictures in different places with different outfits that show your interests. Ditch the sunglasses and masks for the photo shoot and make sure your pictures are high quality. If you are struggling with pictures, then think about showcasing your hobbies and interests.

Lastly, and importantly, include a call-to-action to make it easy for your match to start a conversation. It can be a question for them, like "what was your favorite trip you took this year?" Or you can include information about cooking, and ask what their favorite recipe is right now.

While it’s tempting to plan extravagant or romantic first dates, serious daters keep their first date short and in public. Grabbing coffee or a drink gives you a chance to get to know someone without too much pressure for a second date. Be firm and kind if you aren’t feeling the chemistry, even if it is awkward. Give people a chance, especially if they are not initially your type. And most importantly, don’t ghost!

Safety in Online Dating

It's good to remember that online dating happens over the internet where there is a certain level of anonymity. Beware of catfish, surprise nude photos, people who are only looking to sext, and unfortunately, beware of people looking to harm matches. Of course, this can be true outside of online dating. There are whole Reddit subcategories dedicated to horrible dates if you want some nightmare fuel.

Just be smart, keep your eyes and ears open, and meet in public first. Don’t meet at your home or theirs until you are comfortable with this person. Don’t be afraid to run a background check or search for them online before you meet. Choose people whose profile information and pictures match. You can also FaceTime before you meet in person, to be sure they are who they say they are in their profile.

In sum, trust your gut if something feels off. Afterall, the saying is true: here are plenty of fish in the sea.

Let us know if you have any tips to add to our beginner's guide, online dating edition!