How to Stay Safe on a First Date

Whether you’re familiar with the dating scene or downloading your first app to find love, safety is crucial. If you don’t already have a game plan, it’s essential to build one so that you can explore and meet new people while also having a safe first date.

Here’s an overview of what to do before and during your next date to maximize your safety so that you can minimize worry and just have fun!

Before You Meet Up

Try setting up a call or FaceTime with the person you plan to meet up with as precautionary measure. Many apps, like Bumble, even create a private feature within their platform so that you can avoid a possible catfish or even see if they match your “vibe” beforehand. You can also try finding them on social media so you can ensure they are who they say they are.

This is not a time to keep your date secret. Let a friend or family member know where you’re meeting up and when so that you can check-in with them before and after. Consider using your phone’s feature, “Find My Friends,” so that they can locate you. This way someone knows your whereabouts at all times, and you can feel safe on the first date.

Tips for the Date 

Avoid agreeing to any rides to stay safe on your first date, and opt for your own transportation to keep your address private. Be sure that wherever you meet up, that it’s public, and ideally during the day. A busy coffee shop or restaurant is a far safer option than meeting for the first time at someone’s house or on a hidden hike trail.

If you get a cocktail or meet at a bar, be sure that you only accept beverages from your bartender. Drink spiking is real, especially on college campuses. Roughly one third of all women have had their drink drugged or know someone who has, making it all the more important to never leave your drink unattended.

You’re also going to need a secret weapon. And, no, we’re not talking about your witty remarks or classy style. We’re talking something a little stronger. It’s time to keep a pepper spray in your bag. This is good advice for dating and beyond as it can be easily accessed and used in a parking lot, on your daily walk, or anytime you're caught unawares.

Your keys can also be a viable option if you need to protect yourself. Lifehacker's rule of thumb is to “hit bone and poke flesh.” They also recommend attaching your keys to a kubaton, a self-defense keychain that looks like a short stick in case they, or someone, were to attack you. 

If You Don’t Feel Safe

At any point during any date, you can always leave! If you’re a recovering people-pleaser or are conflict-avoidant, this may be a daunting task to ditch your date before the first course or a natural end. However, you always have the right to leave if something feels off or you’re getting uncomfortable.

You can also message a friend to call you and ask you to leave to help them with something pressing. Or, you can simply tell them that you’re not feeling well and going to head home.

In an extreme case, you can also call emergency services if things get out of hand or if you find yourself alone with them and you feel trapped or physically hurt in anyway. Hopefully you are never in a situation like this, but it is important to know your plan before going into it. Following the above guidelines in this article can limit the chance of a situation like this ever taking place. 

Other Forms of Safety

As you may already know, staying safe on a first date can also mean something else. If the date is going well, it can lead to sexual encounters. If you trust and become interested in another person, it’s normal to want to explore a physical connection with them. First thing about sexual safety is consent. It needs to be given by both parties explicitly.

Whether you are on some form of birth control or using condoms, communication about contraception is important, if there is a chance for pregnancy. Regardless if pregnancy is a risk in your encounter, STI's definitely are. You can also ask for someone's status before engaging in sexual acts with them. Knowing your status is important as well.

Condoms are the best tool for protecting against sexually transmitted illnesses, other than abstinence. Remember, you can't use any type of lube with latex condoms - water-based lubricant is safe to use with condoms. 

Be safe out there, trust your gut, and you'll have fun!