Self-Care Guide
People talk about self-care in many ways. Some speak of it positively and necessary, some as a luxury they can’t afford, and still others speak of it negatively and view it as selfish. The reality is, self-care is just activities that we can practice to focus on our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. It's vital, and it's why we created this self-care guide to help you learn how to take that time out of your day.
Taking this time can replenish our batteries and help us cope easier with the outside world. In fact, it is far from selfish to take care of yourself. If you aren't caring for yourself, then you can’t care for anyone or anything else, including work, friends, your partner(s), children, and fur babies.
Airplane safety videos remind us to put on our own oxygen mask first before assisting others. This is self-care in a nutshell. Another way to think of self-care is giving, not from your wellsprings, but from its overflow. Self-care just helps us to replenish our wellsprings so that we are not sacrificing ourselves for others.
The truth is, when you feel so overwhelmed that you can’t imagine taking a moment to yourself is when you need to the most. So, making self-care a part of your every day routine helps prevent burn out for everyone.
Different types of Self-Care
There are many types of self-care. However, since these are the most discussed types, this self-care guide will focus on the following kinds:
Emotional Self-Care
This type of self-care focuses on being in tune with your emotions, checking in with yourself when you feel stressed, seeing different perspectives, and being as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friends.
Sometimes this means asking for help when you feel you're in over your head. There is no shame in needing help - everyone needs help sometimes. Rather than shame, it is a sign of strength and vulnerability. Help can be asking for extra love from your partner or friends or asking someone to physically help you with a task, it can also mean seeking counseling.
Mental Self-Care
Mental self-care can include things that help you clear your mind, relieve stress, help cope with difficult situations, and provide clarity. It may look like meditation, or journaling, talking with a friend or professional, or other kinds of self-care listed here that ultimately helps keep your mind strong.
Physical Self-Care
Physical self-care is about maintaining bodily health and wellbeing. Resting, eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting sun and fresh air everyday are all ways to maintain physical self-care. Afterall, the body and mind are linked.
Financial Self-Care
This has to do with upholding your financial goals and responsibilities through money management, savings, and budgeting. If you do not practice financial self-care, then you may not have stable housing, food, or other basic needs met. It is therefore wise to spend at least 30 minutes a week to go over financials, balance books, or check in with yourself to ensure your finances are in order and just see where you're at.
Sexual Self-care
Sexual self-care is taking care of your body and its needs. Whether this is setting aside some time each day for masturbation, a weekly date night, making that OB/GYN appointment, or getting tested for STI's regularly. Sexual self-care is crucial to a healthy sex life, with or without a partner.
Tips and Tricks
Hobbies are a fantastic way to practice self-care whether it is gardening, meditating, cooking, painting, writing, or anything else you can think of. Some people invest in bath bombs and spa services including manicures and massages. Even increasing your intake of water or taking a 20 minute power nap counts as self-care. Or use that 20 minutes and catch up on a favorite show.
Self-care isn't always bath bombs and face masks. Sometimes, it's getting those tedious things done that you've been putting off.
If you are constantly on the go and don't know how to fit self-care in, then consider a podcast or audio book for the commute. If all else fails, take a longer hot shower, and hum your favorite song, or write affirmations in the steam on your mirror afterwards. Self-care does not have to be extravagant; it can be those little blocks of time you set aside each day for yourself.
Why Self-Care is Important for Relationships
Romantic relationships are give and take, and that balance must be present. It’s not fun for anyone to have to ask five times if your partner went to the doctor yet. Even setting boundaries are part of self-care that can help maintain a healthy relationship. Boundaries are different than ultimatums. Ultimatums are demands backed by a threat, “if you don’t talk to me right now, then it is over.”
Boundaries are expressing your limits in a compassionate way. “I do want to talk, but I’m overwhelmed right now. Can we come back to this conversation tomorrow?” Setting healthy boundaries in any relationship is a key to success, and minimizing conflict. However, if someone continuously ignores your set boundaries, then you have found the place where their respect for you ends. Do not forget that leaving toxic people is also a form of self-care.
When it comes down to it, self-care is more than showering daily and brushing your teeth, although those are parts of it. When both partners practice self-care, then you can be the best versions of yourself for family, friends, children, and each other.
