Everything to Know About Sex Aftercare
You probably hear a lot about the importance of foreplay. But what about what happens after sex? Sex aftercare is an aspect of your sex life that might need some attention!
You know that what happens before sex is key to ramping up desire, arousal, and orgasm potential. Well, what happens after sex has an impact on overall satisfaction too.
Sex aftercare is what happens at the end of the action, when things start to slow down - which usually means it’s what comes after intercourse or orgasms.
Aftercare is the time to check-in with yourself and your partner. You can offer each other physical, mental, and emotional support. And let’s be real, this is also when you may want to clean up your bodies and space as you settle into the afterglow.
What Does Sex Aftercare Look Like?
Sex is often emotionally-charged, and you are especially vulnerable and open after sex. Emotionally supportive aftercare may include talking with your partner and expressing emotions that may come up.
For many couples, cuddling after sex is comforting. You may want to hold each other and share some non-sexual skin-to-skin contact.
Pamper your body after sex. Whether or not it included intercourse, it is important to pee after sex. And it’s probably a good idea to get some water to hydrate yourself, especially if your play-time was extra sweaty.
Speaking of sweat, taking a few minutes together to wash off toys and clean up lube, ejaculate, and other messes after sex may prevent stains and help you settle into post-sex serenity.
What are the Benefits of Sex Aftercare?
Aftercare can improve your sex life. Ongoing communication about what turns you on and what you are interested in trying keeps things exciting for you and your partner.
If your partner did or said something that really amped up your pleasure, tell them about it in a post-romp debrief. If you also want to tell your partner what was not so great for you or may have been a turn-off, be gentle with your words, and let them know.
Several feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, are released in your body during and after sex. Oxytocin provides a mood boost and the desire to bond, snuggle, and connect with your partner, especially for women. Endorphins reduce stress, ease physical pain, and help moderate the sleep/wake cycle. Engaging in sex aftercare while these hormones flow can benefit your personal well-being and relationship.
Take Care of Yourself
When you stop and think about it, you may not be getting the sex aftercare you really want from your partner. Maybe you haven’t thought about it before and don’t know what you want. Experiment and see what makes you feel good after sex. Or perhaps, you know what you want, but you haven’t asked for it.
It’s hot to confidently ask for what you want before, during, and AFTER sex. And you deserve it!
Be sure to ask your partner what they want after sex too. Everyone has different aftercare needs. And your needs naturally change depending on the sexual activity you’ve had, the season of life you’re in, the partner you’re with, and so on.
Suppose you’re closing out hours of BDSM play with your spouse of 25 years. In that case, your aftercare will look different than the aftercare for a couple who had a spontaneous quickie after the first date. Regardless of the situation, a respectful lover is present for aftercare.
What do you want after sex? What does your partner want after sex? Use this as an unexpected spicy conversation starter and get to know your partner on a deeper, more intimate level.
It’s tempting to think of aftercare as the icing on the cake. The cake is delicious anyway, and the icing just adds some sweetness. But what if aftercare was not like the icing on the cake but an essential ingredient in the cake? If you leave out the last ingredient on the recipe, the cake may be edible, but you can tell something is missing.
